Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Viewings: a source of revenue


Viewings: a Source of Revenue
As the saying goes, there are three guarantees in life: change, death and taxes.

As uncomfortable as it may be for some, it is death of which I speak.

Care for those who have died is as old as the human race. Evidence of such dates back to Neanderthal man, where animal antlers and flowers were found is a burial ground next to the deceased. Mounds of earth, heaps of stone, trees, or platforms have been utilized. For some a final resting place is a catacomb, burial chamber or mausoleum.
Common threads among them all are some type of ceremony, funeral rite or ritual and a sacred place for memorials. (http://thefuneralsource.org/). A service helps confirm the reality of death, allows others to share in the grief and is a declaration that a life has been lived (www.newsminer.com).

The custom of holding a viewing in which family members and friends come to see the deceased's body is particular to western culture and is thought to aid in the grieving process. However, there are now doubts that the tradition of a formal viewing is necessary, let alone helpful.
The first major red flag in the argument supporting viewings is that most documentation in favor is authored by the funeral service industry. Although we may not like to think of it in these crass terms, viewings do provide additional revenue.

Today, the average North American traditional funeral costs between $7,000 and $10,000. The costs are so high that Utah law now allows families to care for their dead without the services of a licensed funeral director (Utah.gov).
The viewing of the corpse is one of the fundamentals of the economy of the funeral industry. Before the body is offered for presentation to relatives and friends, it must be perfumed, restored to a look of perfect health, dressed in expensive garments, and placed in a respectable, "comfortable-looking" casket. These requirements of viewing, usually, constitute the bulk of the funeral costs (http://www.chabad.org/).

In addition, the most common argument for viewings relies on the concept of the five stages of grief, namely denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, an idea first put forth by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. The idea is that seeing a dead body helps us move past the “denial” stage. However, there is a fundamental issue with the stages theory itself. It is very possible these theories are so common, not because they are right, but because human nature is more comfortable when they know what to expect and anticipate when a loved one passes away (www.psychologytoday.com/).
A newer theory suggests there are patterns of grief, including prolonged or chronic grief where survivors struggle for years and never seem to get better. Or the recovery pattern which is intense but in shorter duration and then the individual themselves get back to looking and acting as they did before the loss, but may still hurt for many years (www.psychologytoday.com/ ).

Empirical evidence suggests that even if there are stages to grief, viewings are not necessary to traverse them. Travel the world and you find that Muslims bury their dead soon as possible. Hindus scatter ashes of the deceased in the Ganges River. Some cultures in Africa have been known to bury their dead in the floors of homes. Water burial in the south pacific and the wearing of white in Asian are part of the cultural. Judaism follows three major stages of preparation for the dead: washing the body, the ritual purification and dressing. Mourners make a tear in an outer garment, parents on the left, over the heart. For Buddhists, death is seen as a transition to a new mode and those remaining feel it their responsibility to help them in that process (http://thefuneralsource.org/).
Viewings may not present in these traditions, but clearly the rest of the world isn't permanently paralyzed in a stage of grief, because they didn't all get to see the deceased's body.

In addition to suspect motives and anthropological evidence to the contrary, experts have published statements against viewing a loved one's body. 
Viewing the corpse is objectionable, both theologically and psychologically. It shows no respect for the deceased and provides questionable therapy for the bereaved. On the contrary, we believe that while viewing may seem desirable superficially, deeper consideration will show it to be devoid of real meaning, and, in fact, detrimental in terms of both religion and mental health. Religiously, it expresses disregard for the rights of the dead and a perversion of the religious significance of life and death. Psychologically, it may serve to short-circuit the slow therapy of nature's grief process that begins from the moment of the awareness of death (http://www.chabad.org/).

One would have to question if a viewing is designed to bring comfort and aid in the grieving process, what do these kind of experiences do to the process? A viewing where the deceased's face was covered due to an accident and one who looked nothing like themselves and most difficult of all, a person prior to cremation who was in a literal cardboard box, still clothed in a hospital gown and blanket with his face half-shaved
Holding a viewing is simply a part of the most socially acceptable way to say goodbye to loved ones. Strong evidence suggests that it is, at best, in no way necessary to the grieving process and, at worst, is detrimental to it.

1 comment:

  1. Karen, Thanks for your informative analysis of burials, viewing, cost and psychological effects on the lives of those going through the grieving process.

    Years ago, when I was in my late twenties, my sister-in-law lost her mother at a young age of probably early 50's. Following the funeral, my brother (Greg), and I, and our parents were standing at her graveside, and I remember making the comment to Greg, "I don't like funerals, so I guess you may have to represent us at future funerals." My Dad smiled and sweetly said, "Dian, I attend funerals for the living to show reverence, respect and remembrance. Funerals are for the living"

    I have thought a lot about those sage words of wisdom. Now, some forty years later, I have attended a tremendous amount of funerals, too numerous to count including my Mom, Mother-in-law, and several untimely deaths including 2 nephews niece, and our 33 year old Daughter-in-Law just a year ago. I believe the process of experiencing the loss of a loved one or friend, is different for each one of us. The closer we are emotionally to the family member or friend, who is experiencing the loss, the deeper the feelings run. I learn so much more about their loved one and ours. It gives me an opportunity to reflect. Also, experience more about life and a sense of deeper appreciation for not only them, but for life, and for my life. Dian

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